Painkiller Cocktail

Painkiller Cocktail from
The other day my boyfriend came back from a quick errand all pleased with himself. I was brushing my teeth and he starts hollering to come out and see what he got me. I rolled my eyes and went about brushing my teeth. We’ve been together while, I know his quick trip to the market and liquor store in no way resulted in a present for me. Yet he continues to call for my attention from the hallway.

And you know that exact moment when you start to get excited. Like, maybe Handsome really did find something that was perfect for me, and he had to get it for me. Or maybe he finally picked me up flowers. I’ve only dropped like 9 million 9 hundred thousand hints about how nice flowers would be every now and then.

OK, maybe he got me flowers… or something awesome. I rush through flossing and pop out of the bathroom all bright eyed and hopeful. He’s grinning from ear to ear. Oh snap, he really got me something.

And he hands me a pineapple.

You heard me ladies. A pineapple.

Now I know how I should act every single time I go to the market. Next time I buy him a bag of Chex mix, it’s on like Christmas morning.

Well, when life gives you lemons…er, pineapples… you know what to do.

Painkiller Cocktail from

Painkiller Cocktail from

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  1. notorious m.e.g. says

    can the oj be fresh squeezed or is this splash of heaven in a highball better served by using tropicana etc?

  2. says

    Oh my god, so funny how boys can be like that, right? BF picked up some pb filled pretzels the other day and you’d have thought he came home with a ring the way he was acting about it! LOL <3 at least you got a delicious drink afterward!

  3. says

    This reminds me of when 2.0 won a golf tournament and then hollered for me to come to the car to see the amazing prize he’d won for me. That it was in the trunk of the car, and that he’d actually traded another prize just to get this specifically awesome thing for me. That I wouldn’t believe it. That I would be SO excited.

    It was a Slap Chop.

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