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Beef Pho Unfiltered

It’s been cold and wet and something about that has things weighing down on me. There is a lot on my plate and it gets you thinking. Sometimes you just can’t help it.

My mamma was the type of woman who could pack a car in less than an hour and hit the road without looking back. I guess there’s part of me that admires that. Wonders what it would be like to let things go and drive off into the sunset. Sometimes I look around at things, working all day, every day, and sitting here alone at night and Handsome works late again, and I think, wouldn’t it be great to not have to worry about any of this and just start fresh. It seems ideal and hard but easy all at the same time.

Part of me knows what fits in the back of a Crown Victoria and what I could fit right now into the trunk of my Cobalt without even thinking about it. The things you keep and the things you simply don’t really need. The blankets that will keep you warmest and the food that will get you to tomorrow. Those things you left behind will fade and you wont even remember what you had.

Today is one of those days where I could just put it all in the car and drive.

Then, I think about those things she did leave behind. Did she forget about them with time? Did the memories fade? Did each day away dull the pain for her, or was she so stone solid that the pain was never really there. Pictures of her children, her favorite book, people, friends, family. Hell, one of those things was me.

Selected for you :   Grill-Roasted Beef

I guess I know the answer to all of that. She was dead at 40. Sometimes being the strongest person means being the loneliest too. Doesn’t mean I still don’t think about her, though. Every day.

 

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