I bet you were expecting some fancy five star places when I mentioned I wanted to start writing reviews in 2012. Sure, there is a time and place for that, but if I’m being real with you, it’s not where we eat. So for my first review of 2012, I wanted to take you to a place that I visit probably more than I should admit.

About two summers ago, Handsome’s parents told us we had to try a little pizza place in Port Deposit Maryland. A one road town built low into a cliff on the Chesapeake. The buildings are old and have wonderful charm, nestled in along the large rocks across from the wide river. During the day its nice to walk along the road peeking in at all the hidden nooks and crannies. While you’re walking your stomach is going to be pulled in all directions, because on top of all of its charm, Port Deposit is packed with great restaurants. I have talked about Joe’s Grog house once before on here in a brief ‘trial review’, but I’ll be honest, I haven’t been back. His parents were right.

Late one Friday night we decided to give it a whirl. We drove 25 minutes for pizza. D’Lorenzo’s was a tiny place with only 5 or 6 tables. We ordered the ‘meat lovers’ pizza and promised his parents we’d save room for dessert.

Then the pizza came.

I’m not normally one to say this, but….

Oh my God.

I have had pizza in many places across the US, including New York and St. Louis, and where this is not the traditional style that either city boasts, this pizza is hands down the best pizza I have ever had. The sauce was speckled with fresh flavors of oregano and basil, it wasn’t soaked in too much cheese, and the meat. Quote me on this one, best meat ever. It was a candy coated explosion of all savory flavors from ham, to the pop of fennel in the sausage to the crisp texture of bacon. This my friends, is a slice of heaven. A chorus of angels came down and sang around me.

Since that first bite, two years ago, we have only had pizza elsewhere maybe twice. We used to be a pizza from the quick grab and go place once a week kinda household. Now when we get a craving, its the painfully long drive to  Port Deposit before waiting in anticipation for that mouthwatering first slice. It was so good, we have never tried anything else on the menu. So I started taking family, friends, co-workers along in an attempt to get them to order something new and be forced to share it with me.

And I have to admit, his parents were right on dessert to. D’Lorenzo’s makes an award worthy cannoli like no other. Warm dough, rolled in sugar and sliced with fresh cannoli cream down the center. Forget the dry hard shells of traditional cannolis and think of the warmth and flavor of a churro. There were those angels again. Shame they couldn’t undo the 5 pounds I inevitably gained that night. But each one of those pounds was earned and savored.

I will exercise all week long if it means I can splurge on a dinner like this. So, the next time you are craving pizza or just want a nice drive, check out Port Deposit, and you won’t miss D’Lorenzos, which is now doubled in size and has at least 20 tables and a deck with additional outdoor dining in good weather, with a scenic view of the river. If its a weekend during with nice weather, you’ll most likely find us there, dirty from a bike ride, using it as an excuse for the carb load.

See you there soon!

D’Lorenzo’s Pizza and Grill 15 S. Main St, Port Deposit, MD 21904 410-378-2800 

Sorry about the bad picture quality. I didn’t work on that whole ‘bringing my camera out in public’ though, and will next time. I promise.

You know what we haven’t done in a while?  An in-depth book review! So when Abrams Publishing asked me if I would like to sample Home Made by Yvette Van Boven last week I hopped all over the chance.

For the sake of my blog’s integrity and my own conscience I don’t always jump at the freebies. If I don’t think I can use something, I turn it down. Even if that means we don’t get the fancy coffee maker just to make an occasional single cup of hot chocolate with (no matter how much this may have upset Handsome). As someone who doesn’t drink coffee, it seems rather dishonest of me to post a falsified review of a product just so I could later re-gift it to someone. Same with a cookbook all about goats earlier this year. Sure, it looked amazing, the recipes seemed interesting and the whole concept seemed great – but other than cheese, I wasn’t sure I had a real source for goat products. How can I review a cook book all about goat with just cheese? Not fair. So, I passed.

But how could I pass up a book all about the rustic basics of making your own ice cream, canning your own preserves, or creating a smoker in your oven? These are things we can all learn without any fancy supplies or spiffy markets nearby.

When I first get a new cookbook, I flip through the entire thing, scanning for pictures and words that immediately pop out at me. Next, I read the biography about the chef. I want to know who they are, what their spin is, and why this cook book is unique on shelves packed with thousands others. Finally, I do an more thorough read of the book, looking at each and every recipe from the front to the back.

What I wasn’t expecting when I opened the package, was an encyclopedia sized compilation of do it yourself recipes. For those of you to young to know the joy of an encyclopedia or how big they were, I apologize as my reference goes over your head. Fortunately for me, we were in the middle of a horrid downpour that made it perfect for discovering a new book. So, let me tell you a little more about my discovery in my breakdown of what’s important to me in a cookbook.

Technical Level: This book is designed to appeal to all levels of home cooks, taking every dish back to the basics and working up. At the beginning of each section, there is a page or two on the basics you will need (like creating your own broths), the recipes that follow build outward from the pages before utilizing what you just learned. If you already know how to create a great fish base broth, you can just skip ahead and make the chowder, or if not, you could start from the ground and work your way up to a beautiful bisque. That being said, I feel that giant books are almost daunting to a new chef. Where does one start with 320 pages in a hard bound book? It can feel a little overwhelming. With patience and a basic understand of ones own skill level in the kitchen, this book features recipes achievable by anyone.

Graphic Design:  The words that come to mind when I flip through this book are quaint, rustic and poppy. The authors quarky personality seems to pop in the font choice for the titles of the recipe and occasional ‘hand-written’ font for some select recipes. The pages are neither packed with too many words or too empty that it’s just a waste of space, with a good flow throughout the pages. The images almost feel faded and worn, giving you the feeling they were taking in your grandmother’s garden long ago.

Recipe Quality: The recipes are great. Simple and easy to follow making beautiful dishes seem easy and uncomplicated. Most are broken down into steps in which the beginning of the chapter the basics are explained with the recipes later using the steps and recipe you have already worked through.

Personality: Although I own cookbooks on regional cuisine from other parts of the world, this is the first book that transported me to another place somewhere between tea parties in Ireland and a catering business in Amsterdam. The author seems to genuinely believe in herself, her partners and her view on cooking. From preparing healthy filling lunches to desserts that will be enjoyed and vanish in moments her outlook doesn’t seem tainted by commercialism that we often overlook of our own celebrity chefs, and is purely showcasing her desire to cook real food. There is even a section for dog treats, a character we see multiple times in the photographs throughout the pages.

Why I’d Buy: This book isn’t one that I would have ran to the book store immediately to flip through or purchase. Without the opportunity to review it, I’m not sure I would have known about it until months after it’s release, however, I am glad I got the chance to flip through. The recipes make me want to roll up my sleeves and get in the kitchen on these dark dreary days. The recipes are the kind of food that will warm your belly and give you what you need instead of the showstopper that we often come to expect from these thick heavy books. I think it will be one of those quiet books that someday eventually winds up in everyone’s collection dogeared and splattered with age and wear. I would buy this book, not for the first time cook, but for someone who has expressed an interest or passion for cooking and a desire to learn.

This book also comes with two wonderful ribbon bookmarks that will work as wonderful cat toys when you are clearly neglecting your pets. You were warned.

       Print This!    

It was about a year ago when I noticed I was no longer flipping through cookbooks just waiting for the next delicious thing to pop out at me. No, I was reading them. Front to back. Absorbing the words as though it were the hottest Nicholas Sparks novel to date.

This is what makes Happy Baker: A Girls Guide to Emotional Baking grab your attention. Not the pages filled with gorgeous goodies, but the stories that get you from recipe to recipe. Erin writes bout her experiences from being young and in high school to dating and falling in and out of love a little later in life.

Technical Level: This book is built for anyone with a sense of humor or who has dealt with heartbreak. The recipes are simple and easy to execute with short ingredient lists that are probably going to be in your pantry. I have made several of the recipes and was smitten when I cracked open the spine to see short lists and easy to follow, no-fail instructions.

Graphic Design: The graphic design was the first thing that caught my attention about Happy Baker. I love the font style and the quality of the photographs within. The recipes are formatted so the ingredients are listed on one side of the page, with extra spaces in between steps. The instructions are clearly written on the other side of the page with the formatting matching the ingredient list.

Recipe Quality: The recipes in Happy Baker are designed to be quick ad easy for those in emotional duress or to impress someone new and they are right on the mark. Of the several recipes I have tried they have all been flavorful. I am not a sweets person, but I’ve really enjoyed the treats I’ve made from Happy Baker.

Personality: Could a book have more personality? Erin witty and amusing tales about broken hearts and friendships create a great mood for the whole book. Happy Baker is just like having a good friend when you’ve had a bad night with stories you can relate to and great pick-me-ups. It is a book I would default to if I ever needed to cheer a friend up and it would be a great gift (along with a good bottle of wine) to a single friend or any woman for that matter.

Why I’d Buy: Happy Baker was given to me for Christmas, but I would totally buy this book for myself (and will probably be buying it for some friends in the near future). It’s such a fun read and with a price point of $17.95 it’s worth every penny. The pictures are inspirational and the stories either make you laugh or smile. Not only is this a great book but it makes a great gift.

Irish Cream Fudge

From The Happy Baker: A Girls Guide to Emotional Baking

Ingredients:

• 3 cups semisweet chocolate chips
• 1 cup white chocolate chips
• 1/4 cup butter
• 3 cups confections’ sugar
• 1 cup Irish cream liqueur
• 1 1/2 cups flaked filberts (hazelnuts), roasted at 325F (160C) for 5-7 minutes

Preparation:

Melt chocolate and butter in a medium saucepan over low heat.

Remove from heat, stir in confectioners’ sugar and Irish cream until the mixture is smooth.

Stir in nuts. Put mixture in a greased 8-inch-square pan, spread evenly.

Refrigerate until firm. Cut into small pieces.

Please do not eat and drive, this fudge has some serious punch.

Now, go get your green on.

I have an addiction. Ok, I have a few addictions. Shoes. Books. Kitchen Stuff. Clearance plates at TJ Max. All justifiable as I am never going to sell my soul for any of the above and I know when to draw the line – but really, can you ever have enough cookie cutters or good boots?

So as part of my 2011 resolutions for myself and blog, I am going to bust into that mountain of books I own more often and try to write some reviews for you. At least then I have a justifiable excuse to give the BF, right? ha.

This is my first official review so bare with me as I am trying to iron out this process.

Baked Explorations

Technical Level: Baked Explorations is a book for anyone of any level who likes to bake. It has recipes for every type of baker of all skill levels which is great because that means there is something for everyone to learn and enjoy (ok, so if you are already a master party chef, then you probably have these skills covered – ignore my previous comment). But for those of us book buyers – Baked Explorations has a great selection of quick and simple (one, maybe two, bowl oatmeal cake) to timely and patient.

Graphic Design: Oh am I a sucker for great graphic design. I do not believe a cookbook should ever be judged by its cover, but by the creases in its pages and the stains from years of constant use. But if there ever was a time and place to judge a book by its cover – Baked Explorations is where its at. How could anyone not love the beautiful pictures, sassy layout, gorgeous colors, smart fonts, sharp call outs and great use of negative space? Really, I could go on. The photography is to die for. Simple and rustic. The pages are all clean and crisp. Never muddled with too much text or reading. The columns on the outer sides of the pages with the ingredients list – genius. My only negative point to this (and really, its hard to do because it is such a pretty book) is that I feel you lose quality recipe space to great graphic design. For $29.95 I could read a lot of recipes in a tiny font with no pretty pictures – but even as I type this I sigh because it is truly hard to fault them for lack of recipes.

Recipe Quality: Every recipe I have made in Baked and Baked Explorations has been perfect. Period. I am not a professional chef, nor do I play one on TV but I can master every recipe in Baked Explorations. The careful explanations of tools, ingredients and technique really lend themselves to a great finished product that anyone could achieve.

Personality: I love the personality this book exudes. This ties into the graphic design section, but the comments from the chefs/authors are perfect. The little notes on how to improve your recipes and the descriptions at the forefront of ever recipe are awesome. You really feel like you are getting to know the recipe before you even get to the ingredient list. It really makes you believe that Matt and Renato love what they do and the creations they make on a day to day basis. I hope I can search out the adventure of finding a recipes secret ingredient and love my day to day job as much as they do some day.

Why’d I Buy: Sometimes you gotta have faith. The follow up book to the beautiful and awesome Baked had to be as great as the original, right? I picked this out without previewing just on the anticipation alone from its big brother. Normally, I’d read reviews or debate over books before settling on one. Not with this. Lucky for me I didn’t have to actually purchase it as my boss gave it to me as a gift (because I told him I would cry if I didn’t get if for Christmas from anyone). If I hadn’t gotten it though, you’d better believe I’d throw down the change for this one.

Oatmeal Chocolate Chip Cake with Cream Cheese Frosting

From Baked Explorations

Ingredients:

For the Cake:

• 8 ounces chocolate chips
• 1/2 teas bourbon, Scotch, or favorite liquor
• 1 1/2 cups plus 2 tbs all-purpose flour
• 1  up rolled oats
• 1/2 cup (1 stick) unsalted butter, cut into small cubes, at room temperature
• 2 eggs, slightly beaten
• 3/4 cup granulated sugar
• 1 1/4 cups firmly packed dark brown sugar
• 1/2 teas salt
• 1 teas baking soda
• 1 teas baking powder
• 1 1/2 teas cinnamon

For the Cream Cheese Frosting:

• 5 tbs unsalted butter, softened
• 5 1/2 ounces cream cheese, softened
• 2 cups confectioners’ sugar, sifted
• 3/4 teas pure vanilla extract

Baked Note: Unlike most of my favorite cakes, this one does not require a standing mixer. You do not have to cream any butter or whip any egg whites. You just dump in the ingredients, stir, and fold. It is quick, easy and satisfying. The cake tastes great right out the oven, but most of my tasters and testers think it’s best after resting for a day.

Preparation:

Make the Cake:

Preheat the oven to 375 degrees and position the rack in the center. Butter the sides and bottom of a 9 x 13 inch glass or light-colored metal baking pan. Heat 1 1/4  cups water to boiling.

Place the chocolate chips in a small bowl and toss them with the bourbon until covered. Sprinkle 2 tbs of the flour over the chips and toss until coated. This will keep them from settling at the bottom during baking. Set aside.

Place the oats and cubes butter in a large bowl. Pour the boiling water over the oat mixture, wait 30 second, and stir to moisten all the oats and melt the butter. Set the mixture aside for 25 to 30 minutes.

In a separate bowl, whisk together the eggs, both sugars, salt, baking soda, baking powder, and cinnamon until combined. Fold in the cooled oatmeal and stir until well combined. Gently fold in the remaining flour and then chocolate chops. Pour the batter into the prepared pan.

Bake the vake or 40 to 45 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean.

Let the cake cool in the pan on a wire rack for at least 30 minutes.

Make the Cream Cheese Frosting:

In the bowl of a standing mixer fitted with the paddle attachment, beat the butter until it is completely smooth. Add the cream cheese and beat until combined.

Add the confectioners’ sugar and vanilla and beat until smooth, about 1 minute. Cover the bowl tightly and refrigerate for at least 30 minutes. ( The frosting can be made 1 day ahead. Let it soften at room temperature before using. )

Assemble the Cake:

Spread a thin, even layer of frosting over the cooled cake. Chill it for 15 minutes so that it can set. Slice and serve. The frosted cake can be kept, refrigerated and tightly covered, for up to 3 days. Bring the cake back to room temperature before serving. ( An unfrosted one will keep for 3 days, tightly covered, at room temperature. )

** My cake was completely baked (no pun intended!) at 30 minutes.

What do you look for in a new cookbook? What should I include in my reviews?

I’ve heard more than one person remark lately that they are glad that they don’t bet on NFL games. This is wise, as parity has made each week an exercise in guesswork at best. And so it is, too, with Top Chef: All-Stars. We’ve already seen Jennifer Carroll pack her knives and go (ballistic), and Tom Colicchio himself admitted that he fully expected her to reach the finale. If the Head Judge/uber-chef host can’t accurately predict such things, what chance do we mere mortals have?

Despite that existential reality-TV-viewing quandary, we must carry on. This season’s third episode (title: “New York’s Finest”) was something of a mixed bag. Having the cheftestants cook in the kitchens of some of New York’s most esteemed restaurants–David Chang’s Má Pêche, Wylie Dufresne’s wd~50, Michael White’s Marea, David Burke’s Townhouse–with the object of creating a dish inspired by, and worthy of, that restaurant’s menu, is an excellent idea. In fact, I wouldn’t mind seeing nearly every episode have some variation on that theme, though it would perhaps mean fewer episodes devoted to cooking school lunches, cooking with Glad/Dial Nutriskin products, cooking out of vending machines, or cooking while walking a tightrope across the Grand Canyon–you know, challenges that test the chefliest qualities of the participants.

On the other hand, dividing the chefs into groups of four, and then allowing only one chef per group to be eligible for a win or elimination seems silly and gimmicky. It seems destined to catch the dolphins (Tiffani Faison, Dale Levitski) in the same net as the bluefin tuna (Fabio Viviani, Stephen Asprinio). Fabio fits the tuna metaphor rather well. Except that he’s a tuna who is not at home with either French or Vietnamese flavors, a tuna who could probably not cook himself if asked. That’s ok, though, because I couldn’t cook human.

What’s worse, for no explicable reason, other than to very briefly add drama, this episode featured the dreaded TOTAL DOUBLE ELIMINATION. Why do this? Why do it so early in the season? All Bravo and the Magical Elves have done is deprive us of both a) a strong chef with a good chance of making it to the finals (Dale L.) and b) a not-so-strong chef who is Frasier Crane’s non-psychiatrist doppelgänger (that would be Stephen “I sleep in a comfortable loft in downtown Manhattan” Asprinio). So, it’s a lose-lose situation for all involved. Specifically, for Dale and Stephen.

Since cruel Fate has made a mockery of my pre-season predictions thus far, I think a weekly re-calculation of each cheftestant’s odds are in order, Vegas-style. For entertainment purposes only. Well, for soul-enriching purposes too, if that’s your thing. Without further ado:

1. Richard Blais (Season 4) Old Odds: 3:2 New Odds: 3:2
There’s no compelling reason at this point that would suggest that Blais isn’t still The Man To Beat in this competition. In this week’s blog, Colicchio mentions that he thought that Blais’ dish (Crudo of Spanish Mackerel w/ Braised Veal Shank & Fennel Mostarda) was actually the best of the group that cooked at Marea. Tom was out-voted, but realistically, his opinion is more meaningful than Padma’s, Gail’s, or Bourdain’s. Unless the opinion involves getting naked & eating burgers, in which case, Padma’s counts most.

2. Angelo Sosa (Season 7) Old Odds: 4:1 New Odds: 2:1
Though Blais is still The Man To Beat so far, the reality is that Angelo is making a strong argument for himself. He’s come out of the gate strong with two straight Elimination Challenge wins, and he finished in the top of the Má Pêche group in Episode 3. Angelo’s strengths are his precise technique and elegant conception/execution, and his dish (Turmeric Marinated Fish w/Dill, Cilantro, Salmon Roe, Chorizo & White Chocolate) reflected that. The white chocolate, as noted by the judges, seems like a bit of inspired genius.

3. Tiffani Faison (Season 1) Old Odds: 6:1 New Odds: 6:1
Tiffani moves up the list through sheer attrition with the early exits of both Jen Carroll and Dale Levitski, but her shaky performance at wd~50 means that her odds aren’t changing much. Her willingness to stretch herself creatively in Wylie Dufresne’s kitchen is laudable, but the results were not.

4. Dale Talde (Season 4) Old Odds: 8:1 New Odds: 6:1
We knew way back in Season 4 that Dale was shown the door way too soon, and now that he’s keeping his temper in check (so far) it seems that he’s getting on with the business of showing us what-could-have-been with him in the Season 4 Puerto Rico finale, instead of either Antonia or Lisa. Dale gets an odds bump here because he successfully defied one of The Rules of Aquisition Chefquisition, and won a challenge with his dish of Sunny Side Up Egg Dumpling w/Braised Pork Belly, Milk Ramen with Bacon, Beef & Pork. Moreover, he did so by having the cajones to conceive and execute a dish that is much simpler than one would expect at wd~50.

5. Mike Isabella (Season 6) Old Odds: 15:1 New Odds: 10:1
While the Magical Elves haven’t edited Isabella to be nearly the amusing Jersey misogynist that he was in Season 6, it does seem that he is finally living up to the potential one would expect from a chef who has run one of Jose Andres’ restaurants (Washington D.C.’s Zaytinya).

6. Casey Thompson (Season 3) Old Odds: 20:1 New Odds: 12:1
If I were fifteen years old all over again, I’d just make Casey’s odds 6:9 and chuckle quite a bit. In one sense, it was foolish to give Casey the low odds that I did early on, since she has been the same steady performer so far this season as she had been in Season 3. So while her odds have been adjusted to reflect this, and while she certainly has a plausible shot to make it to the finals, it just doesn’t seem credible to suggest that she’d be able to wow the judges as both Blais and Angelo are likely to do. Her “Scallibut” dish was clever and well-executed.

7. Marcel Vigneron (Season 2) Old Odds: 8:1 New Odds: 12:1
Top Chef’s resident Rapper-In-Chief gets adjusted downward here, not so much due to his own performance as that of some other cheftestants. In any given dish, Marcel is capable of going toe-to-toe with Blais or Angelo, but I think he is bedeviled by inconsistency. Consistency might be the hobgoblin of small minds, as Emerson once said, but when it comes to Top Chef challenges, or running an actual kitchen, consistency is “Gold, Jerry! Gold!” as Kenny Bania once said.

8. Jamie Lauren (Season 5) Old Odds: 20:1 New Odds: 15:1
While she is just the worst in so many ways–her hipster attire, her annoying tattoos, her penchant for vegetable soups, her griping about Eric Ripert’s food, her refusal to sleep with Stefan, her stupid stitches in her finger–Jamie also has enough skill to make a respectable showing this season. If this were Top Refusal To Reproduce, I’d already have her name engraved on the trophy, and I’d be eagerly looking forward to a season filled with Quickfires sponsored by Trojan-enz or the Doc Johnson family of products. But as we all know, this is Top Scallops Chef.

9. Tre Wilcox (Season 3) Old Odds: 8:1 New Odds: 15:1
I know, it seems incongruous to adjust Tre’s odds downward after he strong showing in Episode 3. But his dish (Grilled Swordfish w/Braised Artichoke, Mushroom Panna Cotta, & Basil Oil) was a pretty simple affair that was well-executed. At its best, that’s what Tre’s food seems to be, and there’s no shame in that at all. It’s just that in this All-Stars season of Top Chef, simple, well-executed food is not going to be enough to win the whole thing.

10. Antonia Lofaso (Season 4) Old Odds: 25:1 New Odds: 20:1
As with Tre, Antonia’s food at its best is simple and well-executed. She does “rustic” better than she does “elegant,” but her highs and lows are going to be few and far between, at least until she walks the plank. She did well in this episode, but don’t get too carried away: her dish was basically a couple of seared scallops on top of a pea & carrot purée. That won’t cut it later on.

11. Spike Mendelsohn (Season 4) Old Odds: 30:1 New Odds: 20:1
Well, I’ve got to give it up to this guy. He is, as Anthony Bourdain opined, the “craftiest m****r-f****r” who has ever been on the show. He’s been competent thus far, but nothing more. He has more skills than you’d think based on his personality and taste in hats, but his excessively high opinion of his skills will likely be his downfall.

12. Carla Hall (Season 5) Old Odds: 20:1 New Odds: 25:1
Her Poached Shrimp & Grits w/Okra Chips was something well within her comfort zone, but not anything you’d likely find on the wd~50 menu. She hasn’t performed badly, but the higher quality of challenges and competitors this season means that her odds of winning it all are dropping fast.

13. Tiffany Derry (Season 7) Old Odds: 10:1 New Odds: 25:1
I thought that coming into Top Chef: All-Stars hot on the heels of her own recently-concluded season would give Tiffany something of an advantage. And it has, I guess: she’s been able to avoid the stumbles and pit-falls that can doom even the most capable chefs when confronted with difficult and downright silly challenges. But that’s the extent of her advantage, I think, and as we progress further into the season, eliminations are not going to come down to who made the worst dish, but rather, who made the least excellent dish. This does not bode well for Tiffany, as her rather ho-hum Crudo of Summer Flounder seems to demonstrate.

14. Fabio Viviani (Season 5) Old Odds: 40:1 New Odds: 80:1
Mamma mia! This guy must have a horseshoe up his ass. He’s been dodging bullets like Neo in these first few episodes, but as the clumsy, Brobdignagian lamb dish that he served at Má Pēche demonstrates, Fabio is in so far over his head that he needs some SCUBA gear, pronto. If, as a simple TV viewer, I can clearly see that a) the bone on the lamb wasn’t wrapped when grilled, b) not enough fat was trimmed from the lamb, c) the lamb was visibly difficult to cut with a knife, and d) there’s a big glob of ricotta cheese on top, well, then there are going to be problems going forward in this competition for poor Fabio. I’m really quite shocked that he somehow avoided elimination. Dale Levitski’s dish, while a flawed dish, at least attempted to operate within the confines of the challenge parameters, taking an honest stab at David Burke’s style. Fabio’s dish couldn’t have had less to do with David Chang if it was an old Jewish woman from Mars. Colicchio says that it’s “all about the food,” but it’s moments like these when I suspect the interference of the producers to keep a fan favorite on the show.

Dale Levitski (Season 3) Old Odds: 6:1 New Odds: NIL
Alas poor Dale, we hardly knew ye. Dale was the victim of the gratuitous DOUBLE ELIMINATION stipulation of Episode 3, and the show will be the worse for it. I can’t imagine in a million years that his dish (Roasted Veal Loin, Peanuts, Popcorn, French Toast, Corn & Thyme Caramel) was worse than Fabio’s, even if Dale’s was too sweet. He at least attempted the challenge. I mean, really: Fabio complained about not being familiar with French cuisine. Really? It’s the backbone of fine dining EVERYWHERE IN THE WORLD. Fabio’s comfort zone is “Shitty Italian,” apparently.

Stephen Asprinio (Season 1) Old Odds: 15:1 New Odds: NIL
The Little Lord Fauntleroy of Top Chef, I was really hoping that Stephen would stick around long enough into the season that his bizarre, fastidious quirkiness could deliver some comedy gold. All he needs is an equally fastidious brother, a curmudgeonly handicapped ex-police officer for a father, and a British live-in psychic physical therapist, and he’d have his own sitcom. There’d be entire episodes about the wide-knotting of ties and cravats, about what sort of sherry and Port one should drink….has it been done?

See you next week!

[Image via Bravo]

There is a duality that characterizes the rooting interests of Americans.  Whether in sports or in reality television, Americans like to root for the underdog. While everyone seems to be sympathetic to underdogs and on some level roots for them, it always comes as a shock to the system when a truly significant upset occurs: Chaminade over Virginia. The New York Jets over the Baltimore Colts. James “Buster” Douglas over Mike Tyson. And now, Chef Jennifer Carroll’s elimination in Episode Two(!) of Top Chef: All-Stars.

Now, some might say that a contestant being eliminated on a mere reality TV show is not comparable to some of those sports upsets that have lodged themselves in our collective memory. My rebuttal would be that those who subscribe to that view did not take the time to carefully rank the competitors of Top Chef: All-Stars, and two months in advance of the premiere, at that.

As you will read below, I composed a pre-season ranking, if you will, of all of the contestants, and livened things up a bit by framing the rankings in the form of Vegas-style betting odds. For recreational purposes only. Which is good, because Vinnie the Nose isn’t around to make you cough up the vig, capiche?

As the faithful reader will also discover, we’re only two episodes into this fantabulous season, and already my rankings are in serious trouble. Episode 1 (title: “History Never Repeats”) saw the all-too-untimely ouster of the lovely Elia Aboumrad (pre-season rank: #9) due to her inability to improve upon the red snapper dish that was responsible for her demise in the penultimate episode of Season 2. So you could say that history does repeat itself. I won’t. But you could.

More problematic, traumatic, and illmatic was Episode 2′s elimination of Chef Jennifer Carroll, Season 6 semi-finalist and more importantly, #3 in my pre-season rankings. You know how they say that on “any given Sunday,” one football team can beat another? Well, that’s easily translatable to Top Chef: on any given Wednesday evening, one of the contestants can go haywire like Ash, the Science Officer of the Nostromo, and start spewing milk everywhere, shoving rolled-up magazines down the throats of the nearest women. That might be a slight exaggeration, but not by much. Jen lost her cookies at Judge’s Table, but only figuratively. How did it come to this?

My first thought is that Jen, along with her fellow cheftestants, was sleep-deprived, having only slept for about 3 hours out of the previous 24. My second thought is that her partner, Jamie Lauren (pre-season rank: #15) wussed out like the Mayor of Wussville, and needed all of two stitches to prevent her from dying of blood loss. My third thought (and last thought on this subject) is that Jen violated one of the cardinal rules of Top Chefdom, that corpus juris that forms the bedrock of all sound strategy in the Top Chef Universe, the Rules Of Chefquisition.

In this case, it is Rule of Chefquisition #24: Thou shalt not braise pork belly, nor shalt thou braise bacon as though it were pork belly. Look, I know it worked for Michael Voltaggio in Season 6. But M-Volt is a Michelin-starred chef, and easily the most capable winner of a Top Chef season yet. Season 3 winner Hung Hunyh worked under M-Volt, as did current All-Star (and pre-season #6) Marcel Vigneron. M-Volt has the chops to braise slab bacon like it is pork-belly, to deconstruct bacon & eggs, take it to outer space and back, while making it taste like the greatest bacon & eggs you’ve ever had in your life. Nobody else in the show’s history to date has had those chops. Braised pork belly was the undoing of Casey in the Season 3 finale, it was the undoing of Richard Blais in the Season 4 finale, and I’m sure it was the undoing of some other, less talented cheftestants that I’m forgetting at the moment. Braising a piece of pork belly (or slab bacon) seems like it would be pretty straightforward, and not terribly complicated. That’s not the point. The point is that pork belly is to a cheftestant what Cape Hatteras is to boats: The Graveyard of the Atlantic Elimination Challenge. And also: pork belly is so five years ago. Use a different part of the pig already, guys!

Here are the aforementioned pre-season rankings, odds, and tidbits that I’d jotted down about these heroic gastronomes. Bow before my clairvoyance, ignore my errors, and praise Blais:

1. Richard Blais (Season 4) Odds = 3:2

Blais would have won Season 4, but tripped over his own shoelaces in Puerto Rico. Subsequently, in his capacity as sous chef, he helped secure Hosea’s victory in Season 5 (ugh), as well as Rick Bayless’ victory in the first season of Top Chef Masters. He has also become the go-to sous chef for Cat Cora on Iron Chef America. He has trained under Daniel Boulud, Thomas Keller, and Ferran Adria, and operates a bourgeoning empire of Flip gourmet burger outlets. Might not have the pedigree of Angelo Sosa, but is more creative, and has more successful experience at playing the Top Chef game than anyone.

EDIT: Blais created what was, to judge by the Magical Elves’ edit, the best dish of the Episode 1 Elimination Challenge, but was DQed for going over his time limit. He also collaborated on the winning dish of Episode 2, a banana parfait that used no dairy or eggs. No cause for concern right now, but who knows, next week they could be making them cook while riding unicycles.

2. Angelo Sosa (Season 7) Odds = 4:1

Easily the chef with the best pedigree of Season 7, Angelo was undone in the end by Montezuma’s Revenge, Singapore-style. In terms of knife-skills, presentation, and diversity of flavor profiles, he is probably the best that Top Chef has ever seen, though lacking the off-the-wall creativity and innovation of Michael Voltaggio or Richard Blais. Was Executive Sous Chef at Jean Georges (3-star Michelin) for two years, opened Jean-Georges Vongerichten’s Spice Market, has consulted for Alain Ducasse, Stephen Starr’s Buddakan & Morimoto restaurants, and others. On paper, he might be the best, but will his eccentricities be his undoing?

EDIT: With two straight (though equivocal) Elimination Challenge wins out of the gate, there’s no reason to think that Angelo is out of position here, “to be honest witchu,” as he’d say.

3. Jennifer Carroll (Season 6) Odds = 6:1

Eric Ripert’s mentee at 10 Arts by Eric Ripert, and formerly sous chef at Le Bernardin (3-star Michelin), so seafood is her strength. Started off strong, but faded down the stretch. Elegant, classic French skillset, and a formidable leader in the kitchen.

EDIT: Ugh. Just a killer. How can my #3 be out this early? I think if you listen closely, Jen could be heard screaming something to that effect as she left the Stew Room at the end of Episode 2. In his blog on the Bravo site, Jen’s boss Eric Ripert, while disapproving of her surprising behavior, does make a good point: Antonia & Tiffany D.’s frittatas were under-cooked, meaning that there was raw egg in the middle, meaning that they were inedible. A poor dish that is still edible is still better than an inedible dish, in this case, one that, as the former Mrs. Billy Joel said, she could find on a cruise ship.

4. Dale Levitski (Season 3) Odds = 6:1

Like Season 7 winner Kevin Sbraga, Levitski started slow and then gathered momentum at the end, losing the Season 3 finale to Hung Huynh by a hair. Succeeded wunderkind Grant Achatz at the now-closed Trio restaurant, and now executive chef at the well-received Sprout in Chicago. This is definitely a hunch pick, more than anything. Look for possible ginned-up heat between Levitski and Blais over the former’s blog post on the Bravo website while Season 4 was being aired.

EDIT: Three cheers, please, for the man who caused the vivacious Casey Thompson to say “hand job” on national television, even if only in relation to Ritz crackers.

5. Tiffani Faison (Season 1) Odds = 6:1

As Tom Colicchio reiterated on the Top Chef Season 7 Reunion Special, had Tiffani only done a single tasting menu, rather than two, she would likely have defeated Harold Dieterle in the Season 1 finale. Colicchio has also said that Tiffany’s artichoke risotto dish in that same finale was the single best dish that he’s ever tasted on the show. Her team won the Season 1 vs. Season 2 charity cook-off, and she won the 2007 Top Chef Holiday Special. Worked for Daniel Boulud, and is an executive chef for Todd English. Will her prickly personality work against her in the team challenges?

EDIT: I may have actually rated Tiffani too low. Dominic Armato at Skillet Doux picked her to win the whole thing, and she certainly has the chops.

6. Marcel Vigneron (Season 2) Odds = 8:1

My favorite contestant ever, and the epitome of a high-risk, high-reward style for this competition. Was obsessed with MG (molecular gastronomy) in Season 2, often to the point of distraction (or over-foaming), but has serious skills. Marcel seemingly had the finale in hand against overmatched Ilan Hall, but forgot his hamachi in the prep kitchen, while his encapsulated vinaigrette teardrop failed under the Hawaiian humidity. Worked for Joel Robuchon in Las Vegas, and at Jose Andres’ Bazaar (under Michael Voltaggio, and with Hung Huynh) in the SLS Hotel in Beverly Hills. I hope he goes pretty far in Season 8, or at least long enough to get on the mic for some roof-top rhymes.

EDIT: I may have Marcel too high here, though he did have a hand in the winning dish of Episode 2. Then again, who wouldn’t win when teamed with Blais & Angelo? Marcel remains fun to watch.

7. Dale Talde (Season 4) Odds = 8:1

Victim of one of the more unjust eliminations in Top Chef history, when he was bounced after the Restaurant Wars episode of Season 4, an episode for which Colicchio was absent from Judges’ Table and replaced by Anthony Bourdain. As Bourdain will be a regular judge for Season 8, look for possible sparks to fly. Talde has worked at Stephen Starr’s Morimoto and Buddakan restaurants, and is at home with Japanese flavors and techniques. Look for him to inject a lot of his Filipino background into his food this time around, which could play well with the judges, depending on their preferences. Solid technical skills could carry him far, but in light of his Season 4 blow-ups and his confrontation with Michael Chiarello in Top Chef Masters, the question remains: can he keep his powder dry without exploding prematurely?

EDIT: No flare ups of the famous temper so far. Dale’s whispered admiration of Jen made Angelo laugh like Louis & Gilbert from Revenge of the Nerds. Bonus points to Dale for not knowing who Joe Jonas is. We should all be so lucky.

8. Tre Wilcox (Season 3) Odds = 8:1

Tre was the first in a continuing line of Restaurant Wars surprise eliminations. Beware assuming the role of executive chef if your team doesn’t win! I’m tempted to rank Tre lower, since the thing that did him in in Season 3 was an inability to execute a bread pudding(!). Still, his resume, pedigree, and accolades suggest that was a heat-of-the-moment misstep, rather than a portent of failure. Along with Casey Thompson, Wilcox cut his teeth working under the Rathbun brothers in Dallas, TX, and served as their sous chef when they defeated Bobby Flay on Iron Chef America.

EDIT: It’s only two episodes in, but I may have Tre ranked too high. He projects confidence in the kitchen, but doesn’t deliver the goods. Fix your sauce if you know it’s over-reduced, man!

9. Elia Aboumrad (Season 2) Odds = 10:1

To my way of thinking, Elia is the true wild-card in this competition. Born in Mexico, schooled at Lenotre in France, Elia worked her way up from commis to sous chef under Joel Robuchon. Worked alongside Marcel Vigneron at L’atelier de Joel Robuchon in Las Vegas. I’m a bit cloudy as to what she’s been doing since consulting at THEhotel at Mandalay Bay, but she has a solid foundation of exacting technique that could carry her far. As Top Chef seasons progress, rustic dishes that taste great are rarely good enough to stave off elimination against competitors who present refined, elegant, innovative food.

EDIT: Vaya con Dios, Elia. I said that she was a “wild card,” but it is clear now that she was a “Draw Four.”

10. Tiffany Derry (Season 7) Odds = 10:1

A solid cook who was not eliminated for bad food, but rather because her dish wasn’t as refined as those of the final four competitors in Season 7. In this field, I would ordinarily be inclined to rank her lower, but I think Tiffany gets a mild advantage from having competed on Top Chef more recently than almost all of the other contestants, so she should in theory be able to hit the ground running. She should get to mid-season before the competition gets too stiff; any farther than that will require some luck.

11. Mike Isabella (Season 6) Odds = 15:1

Everyone’s favorite misogynist is back! Whatever whatever. Isabella has some quality skills–you don’t get to run one of Jose Andres’ restaurants otherwise–but his overconfidence will probably trip him up before he gets close to the end in this field.

12. Stephen Asprinio (Season 1) Odds = 15:1

Everyone’s favorite snooty, snobby, sommelier is back! OK, maybe he’s not everyone’s favorite. This eccentric, cravat-wearing fussbudget is fun to watch though. He has some serious pedigree working for Drew Nieporent, Michael Mina, and others, but since most of it is centered around being Wine Director, it’s hard to rate him too much higher with confidence. He does have serious cooking skills, as he demonstrated in the Top Chef 4-Star All Star Challenge. His perfectionist outlook will serve his food well, but I can’t imagine him lasting through a whole season’s worth of team challenges. He may surprise us, though.

EDIT: Were you wondering to yourself whether or not Stephen Asprinio lives in the same world as you and I? The cravats, the foppish dandyisms, the umbrella tucked neatly through the top of his briefcase, yes, those might have been hints. But his whole “I sleep comfortably in a loft in Manhattan” was the giveaway. What if Frasier Crane (or Niles) was a contestant on Top Chef? The longer “paisan” Stephen remains on the show, the more complete answer we’ll have to that question.

13. Carla Hall (Season 5) Odds = 20:1

14. Casey Thompson (Season 3) Odds = 20:1

EDIT: I’m feeling that she should be a bit higher, but she needs to show more first. Also: Come to Butt-head.

15. Jamie Lauren (Season 5) Odds = 20:1

These three are almost interchangeable, I think. Though they have different styles and areas of expertise, Carla (Southern/French), Casey (Southern/pan-Asian), and Jamie (New American/seafood) all come across as methodical, competent chefs who present simple, seasonal dishes. Therein lies the danger: you don’t want your food running together in the minds of the judges. More importantly, none of these three has demonstrated an ability to deliver an innovative dish with a “wow” factor, something that is more or less mandatory come end-of-season on Top Chef, and even more so in this talent-laden field. Casey and Jamie have both demonstrated a conspicuous propensity for being slowpokes in prep, and Carla’s undoubted skill is diluted by her puzzling lack of assertiveness. I just can’t see any of them getting to the finals here.

EDIT: As Jamie mentioned on her Twitter page, she seems to be getting the a**hole edit from The Magical Elves this season. But a special high five is in order for her defiant announcement that she’ll never reproduce.

16. Antonia Lofaso (Season 4) Odds = 25:1

As with the previous three, Antonia comes across as a solid, methodical cook who makes tasty, rustic food. There are some who will say that “rustic” is just another word for “sloppy plating,” and that’s certainly part of what did her in (along with undercooked beans) in the Season 4 finale in Puerto Rico. She seems good-natured and plays well with others, so she might sneak into the middle part of the season.

17. Spike Mendelsohn (Season 4) Odds = 30:1

This guy. What a clown. He’s got some impressive credentials and travels on his resume, but his apparent utter inability to accept criticism of any kind, and his demonstrated stubborn insistence on not following the requirements of challenges (I’m thinking of Rick Bayless’ Fine Dining Taco Quickfire from Season 4) makes it unlikely that he’ll win this competition. Spike got his clock cleaned by Michael Symon in Battle Prosciutto on Iron Chef America, and was clearly not wanted by any of the competitors as a sous chef during the first season finale of Top Chef Masters. Also: he used frozen, broken scallops. And take off that hat already.

EDIT: As Anthony Bourdain said in Episode 1, Spike might be the craftiest mo-fo to ever be on Top Chef. He will go as far as his craftiness will take him, but he’ll ultimately get to a point where he’ll have to go head-to-head with Blais, Angelo, & Co, and his chops just aren’t at their level. On the bright side, he’ll have his Jonas Brothers albums to cheer him up.

18. Fabio Viviani (Season 5) Odds = 40:1

I know that a lot of people will want to see Fabio go far, because after all, he was “Fan Favorite”. It’s just not going to happen. His strongest showing came during The Last Supper challenge, where he was fortunate enough to be required to cook only a simple roasted chicken for Lidia Bastianich. He’s a charmer though, and if he somehow makes it to Restaurant Wars, that will be an asset as front-of-house, just as it is for San Pellegrino Water, Dr. Oetker’s Frozen Pizzas, and any number of other crappy products that he couldn’t endorse fast enough. It’s hard to overlook the zero-star review that the LA Times gave to Fabio’s Firenze Osteria, calling it “Italian food for dummies.”

EDIT: The fact that Fabio was picked last during the choosing of teams in Episode 2 speaks volumes, and completely justifies my ranking him at the bottom. His luck won’t last.

New rankings next week!

[Image via Eater and BravoTV]

Pardon my for a moment while my inner fat kid wakes up from a nap.

Today the BF and I took the motorcycle out for a drive and ended up at one of our new food favorites, Joe’s Grog House in Port Deposit MD. The town of Port Deposit sits right on the water and has only one real road running directly through it. It doesn’t look like much when passing through, but once you park and start to look around there are a few treasures to be found.

The Grog House is everything I dig in a restaurant. First and foremost, the food is good. I mean good. Stick to your ribs, add a few pounds, unbutton the pants kinda good. With a menu specializing in Tex-Mex and Cajun its a refreshing break from the mediocre seafood and steak places that seem to be on every corner.

Secondly, it has a great ambiance. The building has charm and personality. It looks as old as the original town with its huge stone walls and rustic wooden floors. The maximum seating capacity can’t be more then 50 which keeps the atmosphere cozy. Name plates are screwed into the beautiful wooden bar where the regulars migrate and on the back of the menu an amusing story of the restaurants origin displays a laid back attitude and sense of humor.

What caught our attention was a chalk sign on the sidewalk outside of The Grog House doors advertising 20 hour smoked pit beef. Yeah, that got us. It’s a huge (3/4  lb) sandwich that comes right from the smoke set up out in front if you want to go take a peek.  And to say the price is a bargain isn’t even coming close.

Don’t believe me, go grab a pitcher and try for yourself.